How much anxiety, uncertainty, or discomfort can you tolerate? As it turns out – if you can be curious about uncomfortable feelings instead of ward against them – they can be powerful precursors to growth.
This is the first in a series of three blogs as to why curiosity is an essential skill for work and life.
Todd Kashdan is the author of “Curious?” and lead researcher in the field of positive psychology. His research has demonstrated that curiosity helps us manage anxiety and is a source of resilience when exposed to negative life events and stress.
Kashdan says that the single most powerful way to increase human happiness, is to increase our capacity to tolerate, recognise and identify emotional pain. At first, this idea seems antithetical, but it has its roots in Buddhist teachings where the key to finding peace of mind is to tolerate suffering and to detach oneself from ones needs and desires.
Instead of seeing negative emotions as, well negative, his research shows that if we can take a moment to be curious about and name the emotions we are experiencing in moments of stress – we can take advantage of the information they are trying to convey. In his keynote at the Happiness and It’s Causes Conference in 2013, he says “if you have a preponderance of negative emotions but you’re good at being aware of them, understanding them and clarifying them, they’re no longer toxic, they’re just information that you can use, just as you use Google.”
His research reveals that developing a healthy degree of self-curiosity (curiosity about how we think and feel) can help us withstand the potentially negative effects of stress and even enable us to appreciate the value of negative emotions like loss, pain, guilt, shame, or embarrassment. These negative emotions are often precursors to action. For example – guilt can make us want to make amends or overcome conflict; embarrassment can make us want to be more prepared; anger can give us the courage to right a wrong.
If you want to find out more about how you can harness curiosity as key pillar for high performing teams, come to my free information session on Tuesday 28 May at 11am. Sign up here.